It's funny how I have searched the other blogs and rarely find any blogs about the lifestyle or about swinging. I know there are people out there that are involved in the lifestyle. It's a growing community and I think that some people are even starting to come out from behind closed doors. It's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of any longer. They may not be talking about it to their friends, family and/or co-workers, but they are there none the less.
However, finding other swinging couples can be difficult. There are personal columns in the local papers but then you have to rely on snail mail to reach its destination then wait to see if anyone writes back which can take weeks or months even! If a couple is ready to play its impossible this type of communication is feasible. There used to be magazines dedicated to the lifestyle that operated similar to the newspaper personal columns with the same kinds of downfalls. The ones we used to pick up have gone the way of the World Wide Web.
Now there are many websites out there that provide an avenue for meeting other couples (or singles) but they are full of bots, single men portraying themselves as a being a couple or other types of people with questionable character.
We have utilized all of these types of venues and have met some interesting people in the process, either in person or through e-mails and/or phone calls. But for our own reasons these relationships were ended.
We no longer use these websites to meet people for personal reasons; we also elect not to use instant messaging.
We have the best luck through Craig’s List/Casual Encounters in our local area. We have read hundreds of ads and have posted many ourselves looking for other couples like us. We have met with probably more couples this way than any other way so far.
When we do finally have a meet and greet with other couples we are looking for mutual attraction for everyone. If there isn’t any chemistry after the meeting there is no reason to continue. Additionally if the women don’t hit it off or have a liking to each other then no matter how strong the chemistry is between the couples, nothing will happen. The women are the ones who determine whether or not the next step happens. The women have to like each other; it’s just the nature of the lifestyle.
However, for reasons we can’t determine when we use the CL personals to meet people many times the people disappear after the first meeting. This has baffled us for quite some time now. We understand that others may not be attracted to us and that’s okay, there are couples we are not attracted to either. But even after a great meeting things fizzle out. Again, it’s the nature of the beast.
Last night I posted an ad on CL and we figured we’d have a few responses by morning. The question we asked was this…Are We Asking For Too Much? We explained exactly what we were looking for and exactly what we were not. It was brief and to the point. Like we always are we were blatantly honest but it had a bit of an edge. I expected some negative responses but I was ready for it. Within minutes we had our first hits. Now, almost 12 hours later we are still receiving responses to the ad. All of the responses, except one, were positive and we were told that we are exactly what they were looking for. It was very encouraging and we’ve written back to every single e-mail we received. We have had numerous hits on most all of our ads but this one has proved to be the most active ad ever!
The negative response (if you could call it that) was more advice on the whole CL community and the shallow pool of people who use the site to meet people (funny how he was swimming in that shallow pool of people as well!). That we had to sort through a lot of weeds to get to the flower beds, etc. His response sounded a bit angry at first and he accused us of being closed minded and not at all the type of people we ourselves were looking for. It ticked me off at first and I answered him back. How could I let THAT e-mail go? I’m always looking for a challenge and a good debate. Obviously that’s one reason I have a blog.
I wrote an excellent response telling him that he had no idea who we were and explained to him that we knew exactly the type of people who frequent the CL Casual Encounters area. It was comical because I just KNEW he was one of those beautiful self absorbed, hung like a horse, people we were NOT looking for. He quickly wrote back to me and his whole demeanor changed. If we were looking for a single male playmate, I probably would have invited him to tell me more about himself and chances are we would have met over dinner.
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