People often ask us about being swingers and what the difference is between swinging, soft swapping and open relationships.
Being a swinger involves total trust in your partner, a strong relationship and the ability to find humor in every day life. You can't take yourself too seriously in this type of lifestyle.
Swingers are normally full swap, meaning being with the other couple's partner either in separate rooms or in the same room. It can involve another couple or a single male or female. Threesomes MFM (male, female, male) or FMF (female, male, female) can be extremely fun.
Some couples, like us, have a sit down "meet and greet" with prospective playmates so that details can be worked out ahead of time avoiding embarrising or akward situations. Most swingers have a set of 'rules' that are theirs alone. Some rules might include no kissing of the other couples partner, FF (female, female) kissing or play time may or may not be optional, same rooms swapping, all parties must be in agreement before any 'fun' is initiated, etc. These are just a few examples.
Soft swapping is being with your own partner sexually and having another couple present where only touching or possibly oral sex is allowed. There is no full swap during soft swap. These types of things are determined by the meet and greet, again to avoid any confussion as to what exactly is going to happen or not going to happen. It's very frustrating to be in a situation where you think you will be full swap with another couple when all they want to do is be with each other and maybe do some touching. It's best to get things out in the open right away.
Something similar happened to us. But we've learned from our errors and have pretty much developed a science to the lifestyle. A couple protrayed themselves as being full swap and we meet with them a couple times over dinner and/or lunch. We went to their home and began the playtime only to find out THEN that the guy was not able to have sex because of an operation, or so he said. So it turned out to be a FMF with myself and my partner while the guy watched and took pictures. It was an uncomfortable time for the both of us. We think he just wasn't able to perform because of his age and he wanted to be sure his girlfriend was satisfied. If they had just been honest and upfront with us we probably would have welcomed the threesome with her, however, being deceived like that only turned us off to them and any future get togethers.
Having an open relationship in a swinging lifestyle means that you give permission to your partner to seek 'entertainment' or playtime without the other being present. For some couples it works out best for them if they have opposite working schedules or not otherwise able to join their partner in playtime. Some couples just don't want to know what the other is doing or when they are doing it. However do not get this confused with cheating because this couple has openly discussed the lifestyle and what particular aspect of the lifestyle works best for them.
Voyeurism is only watching another couple having sex normally in the same room. No touching, oral or other type of play is enacted with the other couple.
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